Sunday, November 14, 2010

Adoption vs. In-vitro

It's funny how God calls us on different journeys in expanding your family.
Some people it comes naturally to just have as many children as you "decide" to have or however many God has blessed them with, some people never consider or could do adoption, others chose to strictly do in-vitro or fertility treatments "until it works", others chose to do both, others strictly stick with adopting, some people chose to not expand or have children at all.  No matter the decision you make to expand or not expand your family, God calls us differently and moves our hearts in different ways.  It is interesting and amazing to see Gods hand in those decisions.   
Sadly, I admit, I used to have a judgment on each of those decisions someone would chose to make for their family, maybe in a way I still do, but I have definitely changed my opinions, had a change of heart, whatever it is you want to call it towards someones decisions now that I am there and in a place to be judged myself.  Who doesn't want to have complete and total support in the decisions by their family and friends??!?
All I want to do is justify, explain, and have everyone "understand and agree" with Roger and I's decision to pursue in-vitro, but I realize that I don't need that, nor should I have to explain and justify to everyone why, all that we need is to know that God has called us on this journey for a reason, and that He has put it on our hearts to pursue this in this way at this time, to know that God has a plan in this.  If it does work, it was so we can have another beautiful child that the Lord has blessed us with!  If it doesn't work, maybe it was so God shows us that we are even further meant to adopt and it just solidifies that feeling already in our hearts for adoption!?  Who knows!  Either way, we are ready and excited for Gods plan to be revealed to us.  All we do know is that if IVF doesn't work, we will not keep pursuing it "till it works".  We will be done.  We gave it a try.  If we have any frozen embryo's leftover we feel that is our obligation to them before adoption because otherwise they would be destroyed and that is not what we believe is right as followers of Christ.
I'm going to be downright honest right now, part of me feels selfish in pursuing IVF vs. adoption.  There are so many children that need good homes.  Adoption has always been in our hearts, even BEFORE we found out we couldn't have anymore children without the help of IVF.  I KNOW some how, some way, in some time, we will adopt.  I just know that is Gods plan for us in expanding our family.  Sooner or later, I know that will happen.  I cannot wait for our time to come when we can adopt!  It is such a hope and desire of ours, and we are so excited to see that unravel in time to come!  
Part of me doesn't feel selfish by trying IVF, because it was made for people in our situation and God has his hand in all of it, if it works it was just part of His plan!  To have that heart-filled desire to carry our baby, deliver our baby and experience all of that, I can't tell you how exciting and full-filling that would be to have that opportunity if God gave it to us.  To put it mildly, it is such a horrible feeling to know you can't give your husband another child and our son a sibling, and to be given the chance to do so, why wouldn't you try it?!
So I can see both sides of the story, I can see why people do one or the other, I can judge them all I want but it doesn't take away from what God has put in their hearts and that choice to be part of His plan for their lives.  All I say by this post is try not to judge peoples choices, you haven't been there, maybe you have, either way...God has it all under control and I know He knows what He is doing.  Thank God!!  Cause I sure as heck don't!  lol

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